‘The Wedding Coach’s’ Gay Wedding Episode Is a Wild Ride Through Gay Performative Excellence

Weddings are about custom, interval. Everyone grows up attending weddings, seeing the traditions, after which forming immovable concepts of how their life will neatly match into these traditions. That by no means occurs, clearly, and that is why a show like Netflix’s The Wedding Coach exists—to remind {couples} within the deep finish of occasion planning hell that this complete ceremony must be enjoyable. But homosexual individuals? We develop up dreaming of a conventional marriage ceremony after which, if you happen to’re like me, you kiss a man for the primary time and understand, “Oh, wow, effectively, I suppose my conventional marriage ceremony will probably be lacking a bride!” Gay marriage has no actual traditions but, which is sensible contemplating that the legalization of homosexual marriage is youthful than Netflix’s Grace and Frankie. We can do no matter!

Herein lies the confounding conundrum on the coronary heart of The Wedding Coach episode “Festival of Fights”—and here is your SPOILER WARNING as a result of I need to write about every thing. Meet our couple, Chad and Anthony. They’ve enlisted marriage ceremony coach Jamie Lee to assist them plan their special occasion… which is definitely a particular weekend. A weekend lengthy competition. With drag queens, meals vehicles, “juice restoration,” a pool celebration, yoga, a hot-air balloon, a Ferris wheel, and a number of “silent discos” which, after googling, simply seems like an infinitely dearer solution to dance to “Hey Ya!”

The Wedding Coach, festival schedule
Photo: Netflix

Oh—and their visitor listing has exploded from 150 invitees to—let me spell it out—one thousand human particular person beings. Chad and Anthony have escalated the inventive liberty given to gays re: weddings to Everest heights. Jamie your work is minimize out for you! Luckily you might have SNL’s Punkie Johnson there to… uh, silently clutch because the occasions redefine the which means of the phrase “additional.”

First up: the dance routine.

The Wedding Coach, dance practice
Photo: Netflix

Chad wants his marriage ceremony to kick off with a—spelling it out once more—twenty minutes of time dance routine. There are 14 backup dancers, intense choreography, and, as we’ll discover out later within the episode, spark launchers? Spark fountains? Spark shooters? Sparks. Lots of sparks. Punkie says that this complete factor is like a Super Bowl halftime show, and Chad replies that, yeah, humorous she stated that as a result of the Super Bowl did encourage him.

Mind you, as a lot as Chad could be very a lot a dancer, Anthony is equally—if no more so—not a dancer. He doesn’t take to choreography effectively, and now he has to do a competition efficiency à la Beyoncé at Coachella on a day that is already worrying sufficient.

The Wedding Coach, Jamie Lee
Photo: Netflix

So. Lest it sound like I’m mercilessly dunking on Chad and Anthony, let’s speak about one thing: performative homosexual excellence. Every homosexual man feels this strain, whether or not you interact in it or not on social media. Now that we’re right here, queer, loud, and proud, there may be a vibe that each homosexual man must be match, flawless, enjoyable, and fierce—or they should be actively pushing in opposition to that. There isn’t any homosexual man on Instagram who’s someway unaware of this push and pull. We’re all on one aspect of this, both attempting to stay as much as a bonkers stage “yaaass werk kween” perfection, or these of us who deliberately do not (and wrongly act like that makes them superior). There is a—fairly frankly weird!—rivalry between homosexual males that makes us all need to one-up one another. “I’m not like these gays” is a phrase that is used to punch up and down. I’m responsible of this, too. I used to be responsible of this whereas watching this episode, and I’m responsible of it whereas writing this text. Wow, this took a flip, did not it?!

The Wedding Coach, Chad crying
Photo: Netflix

But I would like Chad and Anthony to know that I get it. When Chad opens up about his insecurity, how he cannot let a disagreement along with his accomplice relaxation till it has been positively solved—hey, identical. This drives my husband loopy, too! Chad needs to do each a Britney and Gaga part in his marriage ceremony dance routine to publicly assert his gayness, and I take heavily edited kaftan and swimsuit selfies and post them on Instagram after which hyperlink to it in an article I’m writing for work as a result of I too am a homosexual man who’s determined for validation from different homosexual males on social media.


… But nonetheless, y’all, a competition is an excessive amount of. And I say this as somebody whose marriage ceremony ceremony was a a two-hour comedy selection show. Does that truth about me beg for clarification? Maybe, however this text is about Chad and Anthony and my rising understanding of their plight (however not the “silent disco” and “juice restoration” components).

There’s additionally a critical scene the place Jamie—who, by the f’ing manner, works miracles on this episode by way of persistence and positivity and empathy—takes Chad and Chad’s mother looking for an outfit for a marriage ceremony competition… which has not been a factor earlier than so, what is the costume code right here? Chad needs his mother to convey the breathtaking magnificence since they’re down a bride. Chad’s mother is a laidback California gal who likes flowy attire and chill vibes.

The Wedding Coach, Chad's mom
Photo: Netflix

Again, that is the place the strain to convey what is anticipated strangles the superbly wonderful actuality of the state of affairs. Chad’s mother goes to be lovely it doesn’t matter what, as a result of what’s really lovely about her is the truth that she is happy about going to her homosexual son’s homosexual marriage ceremony. A mother or father coming to their homosexual child’s marriage ceremony, or a homosexual child feeling like they will even invite their mother or father to their homosexual marriage ceremony remains to be—even six seasons of Grace and Frankie later—not a given.

In an really surprising flip of occasions for a show known as The Wedding Coach, Chad and Anthony name off the marriage. They admit to themselves that planning the marriage competition was including a poisonous stage of stress to their lives—stress that isn’t wanted in a marriage! They discovered they cannot arrange a competition collectively. Cool! You will actually by no means be known as upon to do this once more! This offers Jamie a likelihood to speak them by way of the method of calling off a marriage ceremony whereas nonetheless expressing their dedication to one another, which is actually a aspect of the marriage expertise that you simply simply do not see on these happily-ever-after-no-matter-what exhibits. It takes a lot to confess that sort of imperfection publicly, and to even be at peace with it. Chad and Anthony are. They love one another they usually’re gonna get married when the time is true. For now, although, why not simply throw an intimate celebration for his or her family and friends to rejoice their love for one another?

The Wedding Coach, the small ceremony
Photo: Netflix
Photo: Netflix
The Wedding Coach Jamie and Punkie partying
Photo: Netflix

Okay, effectively, all of us have totally different definitions of intimate.

Source: https://decider.com/2021/04/08/the-wedding-coach-chad-anthony-gay-couple-episode/


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